Slow Havamal: 117

[kylec]

In verse 117, Odin counsels Loddfafnir to never let a bad man learn of his misfortune. No one benefits from showing a good will toward a bad man.

How can a bad man learn of our misfortunes? Through misplaced trust, or loud complaining, by witnessing a somber demeanor, hearing of it through loose lips, or honest sharing in order to connect and relate. I may have missed a few ways, but regardless of the reason, Odin advises against letting bad men hear of our troubles.

At the least, they will delight from them. The miserable love company. If you can’t get ahead by your own efforts, then the failure of better men is a blessing. In some cases, bad men may use the intel they glean to further our discomfort. We might be conned in our sorrow, or waylaid in our weakness. A good man in a heap of trouble is vulnerable to one he would have brushed aside under better circumstances. Even if bad men don’t know of our problems, it’s wise to keep that in mind, and avoid them when we are less than our best.

That means we shouldn’t trust too easily. We should keep our whining to a minimum, and walk with our heads high. We must also be careful what good people we tell. Sometimes people are good except for a love of gossip, which they may not even consider as such. I’m thinking of the church crowd of my youth who often said things like, “Did you hear about so-and-so? Bless his heart,” thinking for all their worth that it was an act of charity to spread the unlucky news. There’s nothing wrong with sharing our troubles. An ally or a sympathetic ear may be just what we need. But we must be sure our friends can keep a confidence if we don’t want it to wind up all over town.

Odin also remarks that a good will toward a bad man is a fool’s errand. Many other moral cultures disagree. They turn the other cheek, or help criminals, and there are arguments in favor of the kind of unconditional love that cannot run afoul. There’s also the pragmatic truth that many scoundrels are happy to play the penitent victim in order to profit from your good will, and will go back to their petty habits as soon as it suits them. Contrary to other codes, the heathen is permitted and encouraged to pass by the bad man without offering aid. (Note this is a man who has violated a moral code, not a poor unfortunate soul who happens to be badly-dressed).

A general policy of distance from bad folks seems like a sound idea. Since we may not know who they are in advance, we should remember to share our tribulations only with proven companions, and conversely, to keep safe the secret misfortunes others share with us. An individual only has so much good will to spare, so better to spread it to others who will pay it forward. We don’t have to seek out the bad and exact justice for our prejudices. We can keep clear with a calm, neutral disposition, and guide our better angels toward those who won’t forsake them.