Slow Havamal: 100

[kylec]

In the 100th verse, Odin returns to find a company of warriors waiting for him with torches. They send him on his way.

When Odin comes back to the home of Billing’s girl that night, he finds a formidable force waiting for him. Perhaps Billing saw him hanging around, or the lover had second thoughts. Maybe she never intended to give herself at all. Somehow, Odin has been deceived and suffers an unpleasant expulsion.

Sometimes the things we desire are closely guarded by those who want to keep us away from them. It isn’t enough that we want these things. Desire must be supported by a will if we’re to gain anything. Even if that will is strong, there’s no guarantee of success. One man is no match for a company of warriors. Maybe Odin could try again another time, in another way, but with the threat of greater consequences looming, he may just decide to cut his losses and move on.

The objects of desire we deal with here are those that might be subject to competition. It isn’t something abstract and infinite Odin is after. It’s the daughter or wife of Billing. This lesson applies to lovers, jobs, coveted treasures, a particular plot of land, the use a certain body of water, a place in line, a limited edition. These things may just be beyond our reach, or the kind of sacrifices we would have to make to get them are not worth it. It’s miserable and embarrassing, especially when we felt success was all but granted, but moving on may be the best option.

When we do so, we learn to adjust our desires to things which may actually come to us—or at least to adjust our expectations of landing a far-fetched desire. We also see the price we have to pay, the will it would take, and we either buckle down or learn that a will isn’t necessarily weak for letting go. Rather, it may be better applied elsewhere. If it was too weak, then we find lesser challenges by which to strengthen it.

If not this exact scenario, we have all faced something similar when we didn’t get what we promised ourselves was ours for the taking. These are some of the most painful lessons we can learn. They challenge our self-worth and our toughness. We have the sense that someday we’ll probably face something that seems irredeemable and have to face it anyway with a vigorous will, to victory or death. How do we know that moment from the ones that are best abandoned? Is it cowardice or wisdom that walks away? Those haunting questions can be as bad as the act of being repelled.

In the end there is no answer. But a burgeoning wisdom alone may tell us if our desires are worthy, what we should expect, and where our will is best directed. Wisdom, to repeat myself many times, is a structure of experience. We don’t gain it by knowing what to do with certainty, or by coming up with the right answer every time. It’s these moments when our desires are thrown back in our faces and our will hasn’t the strength to reply that show us the limits of ourselves, the lines of definition. This way, the picture grows slowly clear.