Slow Havamal: 96

[kylec]

In the 96th verse, Odin tells of a time he experienced the pain of the previous verse while hiding in the reeds waiting for his lover. But she was wise, and though she was his flesh and heart, he couldn’t win her.

The pain that the wise feel when they are alone and without love is reinforced by Odin with a personal anecdote. He hid, probably watching the woman he desired, but unable to obtain her. The rest of the story will come in future verses. The apparent purpose in this poem of advice seems to be to emphasize that even someone as wise as the All-Father of the Norse pantheon doesn’t enjoy being without love. So what mortal man could convince himself that love is something he can take or leave?

Hiding to catch a glimpse of a lover evokes a very human scene. While the Norse gods depict themselves in a human manner in their tales, they certainly aren’t like you and me. I don’t want to dismiss a literal reading of any myth, because I think there’s probably more value in it than we may suspect. At the same time, a myth is something was was “never true, but always is.”

What we have on an archetypal level is a male with great desire who can’t directly obtain the female he wants. Any active principle, in seeking balance and reconciliation and finding itself thwarted, could belong to a similar pattern. Love can be the most rewarding of feelings when its shared, but when it isn’t returned, there are few tortures that compare. When we can’t have what we desire, we may like to pretend we never wanted it, or anything like it, to spare ourselves the pain. That may be a fine story for our friends, but we’re in trouble if we believe it, too.

If there’s any practical advice here, it’s to admit what we long for rather than attempt to suppress a feeling because it can’t be satisfied. That doesn’t mean we’ll get it. Experiencing desire turned aside is a part of being human. (Maybe it’s also a part of being a god.) There are any number of ways we might deal with it—try to redirect the desire to something obtainable, find the need behind the desire and satisfy it on a deeper level, or channel that energy into some other skill or pursuit that may not cure us but at least allows for an outlet.

What doesn’t work is to pretend to be above the need for love. When we’re unequal to our object of affection, it’s a reminder that we are a part of the equation and making ourselves more equal, more lovable, might be a wise approach. Whatever we do, we should not amputate our desires. The pain is one of the ways in which we grow, if only we can find the right channel down which to send our surging passions.