Slow Havamal: 22

[kylec]

In the 22nd verse, to laugh at everything is the way of a stupid, undisciplined man. He needs to learn the valuable lesson that he, too, has flaws.

There are a few different ways to read this one. The first few lines give me the image of one of those somewhat-likable idiots who just think everything is funny. Some things are, and maybe they just see the humor in the marginal things in a way that we can appreciate. But they also seem to laugh at every slip, every misfortune, and a few things that just don’t seem funny to anyone. Laughter, whether appropriate or not, is to take joy in a perceived absurdity. The same situation may not be funny to two different people, because one may find it sensible, and the other ridiculous. Often, it’s the one who is able to see the folly in things who has the sharper eye. But it could also be that it takes a wiser person to make sense of something that doesn’t add up—to see the deeper order.

This man is described as stupid, which means he probably fails to make sense of things, and perhaps other times recognizes absurdity, but lacks the tact to keep it to himself. There may be times when laughter hurts someone’s feelings and we choose to hold it back. If we know someone is having a bad day, and they jumble their words, or slip on a banana peel, the wiser may see the humor, but also the way that laughter affects the person. Compassion may override the joy in absurdity. Or any number of other reasons. To go by another definition of “stupid” that I covered in a different essay, we are talking about someone who harms both himself and the collective. The latter, by hurting their feelings when everyone else sees some discipline is in order, and himself by ruining his reputation in that act.

Another sense of laughing at a person could mean to make fun of them, as opposed to just finding amusement in the things that happen. It may not involve actual laughter as much as sneering, and if it does, it’s a scornful laugh. I find that I’m more prone to make scornful jokes or put people down—even if it’s just in my head—when I’m feeling less happy and capable. That insecurity inclines me to find someone else to laugh at. Hey, at least I’m not that guy! Taken to extremes, this is the same process by which bullies are born. Happy people don’t bully others. The very impulse to do so is a flashing red siren alerting us to our own faults, unexamined and causing great pain.

This verse doesn’t say explicitly, but when would the wise man laugh? When it comes to poking fun at others, I happen to think even a noble, charming fellow might choose to do it. Few people enjoy the company of the humorless. I’ve heard it said that in terms of a social hierarchy, we should gently tease our equals and superiors, while complimenting those lower on the totem pole (and allowing them to tease us without reprisal). Another way might be to only tease and laugh at people who we know can take it, and even then only out of love, backing off if we sense it’s a rough day. As far as the random collision of bodies in the wider world is concerned, being able to see absurdity is paramount to mental health. Anything—and I mean anything—can seem absurd through the right lens. The inability to recognize this is indicative of being trapped in one very narrow way of looking at the world. When it harms no one, the wise man should appreciate the absurdity of the situation even if he withholds his laughter, and laugh brightly when appropriate. That means he has to be keenly aware of his surroundings and context at all times.

That includes a deep awareness of his own flaws. Rather than being painful impulses that drive him to harm others, these flaws can be an excellent source of humor and amusement. I know I appreciate someone who makes a good self-deprecating joke more than someone who slings a mean insult. The lesson here is that none of us are perfect. We often engage in absurd behavior. Those who wish to be wise should laugh when others point it out, if not make the joke at our own expense before anyone else notices.