Slow Havamal: 24

In the 24th verse, the unwise man falls into the error of thinking that those who laugh with him must be his friends. He fails to grasp that he’s being mocked by the wise, despite hearing exactly what they’re saying.

There is often a fair discrepancy between the way we see ourselves and the way that others see us. The unwise man in Havamal believes that he’s held in high regard. Every time he speaks or acts, the wise burst into laughter, which can only be a result of how incredibly funny he is. That delusion leads him to count as his friends those who, though they may be wise, aren’t necessarily as nice as he thought. Being the butt of a joke is hard enough, but there’s something that makes my skin crawl about watching a man who has no idea that he’s the butt, and keeps walking into cringe-worthy moment after moment. If there was ever a verse for Michael Scott from The Office, this is it.

So deep is his misunderstanding that even when he hears someone mutter an insult, his mind finds a way to twist it to a meaningless comment, or even a compliment. This is a case of someone who has decided exactly who they are, what the world is, and how the two interact. He goes through life ignoring every stimulus to the contrary, and forcing what he senses into the same narrow pattern that reinforces his beliefs. He lives in a bright snow globe, the same scene on an idyllic street without twists and turns, imbued with magic by the recycled flakes stirred to fall on cue. This is not a man who knows anything about hospitality. His host is who he decides in advance, and their exchange only bolsters his conviction in his travels.

It may seem cruel of the wise to mock the unwise. It certainly feels that way when I end up on the wrong side of the equation. But a critical component of humor is the ability to recognize when something does not fit the context. It’s absurd when someone believes something that clearly isn’t the case to everyone paying attention. Modern Americans have an allergy to bullying. For the most part, I agree. But there are degrees. The Norse understood the difference between an angry person beating up on a helpless one because he was unhappy with his own life, and otherwise decent men who use teasing as a way to correct an unacceptable behavior. Each society sets its own standards for appropriate ways to think of the self and the world, and how the two interact. These standards must be enforced, or they don’t exist. Gentle ribbing is a fine way to make sure the more cognizant among us feel bad and choose to change our behavior to avoid future pain. There are some who never get a clue, though, and in those cases, the mockery serves the purpose of highlighting that behavior as an example of what-not-to-do for others.

This delusion extends beyond just making a fool of one’s self. A man who doesn’t see the world before his eyes will have all the friends a sucker could ever want, and he’ll fall prey to more than harmless derision. Most of what occupies me with these verses is trying to understand how the unwise act, and how to get myself into the wise category when I catch myself straying. In this case, the wise are simply self-aware. They have a solid sense of self, built from paying attention to how the world responds. The wise man takes feedback and alters his behavior with respect to others. He also pays attention to the beyond-human forces in the world, from the path to the weather to the turning stars overhead. He is informed by the world, made of it to a great degree, because he accepts the hospitality of the honest experience without expectation or projection. The unwise live in a perfect snow globe. The wise might, too, but they have far to travel and much to see before they grasp the height and breadth of their world.