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Slow Havamal: 39
The 39th verse has Odin tell us he has never met anyone so generous and hospitable that he wouldn’t happily accept something offered in return for his kindness.
I’ve written an entire essay on generosity. This verse affords me a chance to add another layer I’ve been mulling over for a long time: that of gratitude. My basic argument in the generosity essay is that we can look at this virtue as one based on energy exchanged. We are generous when we give others energy, or spare them from having to use their own. This is literally true, as in giving food, or our labor. It can happen in a very direct fashion, or take a more circuitous route. But think of any act that’s extremely generous and you’ll soon spot how one person gave a tremendous portion of their own energy to another.
The peril is that a generous person might soon sap their reserves and run themselves down, becoming unable to keep giving. I advised that people always give from their surplus, but practice rest and self-care when depleted down to that fuel tank that serves their basic life sustaining functions. The well has a bottom. The most selfless person needs to restore themselves if they’re to keep up their generous ways, which benefit the entire community. Even the gracious host will take a little in return. It doesn’t need to be equivalent to the gift, and if it were, it would be a mere transaction. The host might even be insulted, or at least feel their generosity was of less value because it was so easily equaled.
Repayment can be as little as a heartfelt note of thanks, but a little cash, a little service, a hot meal, a bottle of something interesting can go a long way. In keeping with the metaphor of energy exchange, gratitude is when one agent, having received an abundance of energy which they may never be able to repay, pauses to return a small portion of it. That portion may help sustain the host so they don’t become depleted, but that’s not always the case. At times, it may simply ignite collateral energy (see the generosity article for a full explanation), giving the giver a burst of joy and a feeling of worth that allows them to tap into a deeper well.
Think for a moment of a planet, shimmering in the late evening sky. Planets generate no light. The bright spectacle is the light of the sun reflecting off. In a sense, the planet receives more light than it can possibly absorb, and conspicuously sends a portion back into the heavens. It’s as if they thank the host while announcing to every observer news of the generous act—we would never see a planet with our bare eyes without it.
The sun doesn’t need its light back. The kind host can live without the box of chocolates. But it’s true that no creature will turn down something in return. There’s hardly a religion in which the gods don’t appreciate a humble offering and a prayer. I cannot imagine they need it. But perhaps gratitude, the conspicuous return of a small portion of a great gift, is an essential component of a process that stands incomplete without it. The ungrateful guest is an abyss. The gracious man is a mirror, however clouded.
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