kylec | Slow Havamal: 125

In verse 125, Odin counsels Loddfafnir not to speak so much as three words with a worse man. A better man often loses the fight.

We’ve recently heard many reasons not to consort with people of low character. If you needed one more, it’s that being a better person doesn’t guarantee that you will come out on top in a scuffle. That can be a verbal argument, or a fist fight. Either way, the good tend to play to the level of the opponent. An ornery soul can bring out the worst in us, and our efforts to defeat him fall prey to our passions and sheer bad luck.

There is nothing to be gained by hanging around with foul characters, and Odin says that even the briefest of exchanges can suck us into a disagreement. Bad people will twist the kindest words and respond as if we harmed them. They will force our interaction into the tracks of those habits they prefer, which means making a villain out of any convenient bystander. If we’re not careful, we might respond in an effort to either clear our name or show them who’s boss.

Anger and frustration weaken our mental faculties, and quicken our pulse. We may act rashly or overconfidently. Were it a regulated debate, or a contest with a referee, we’d probably win, but being the better person can’t guarantee success when we rush into ill-advised battles. For starters, it’s because the one who stoops to the level of the fool is no longer the better person—not for those moments. We have entered the arena of the fool in fool’s clothing, and we contest him on a level field. It isn’t the better person he will defeat, but one descended from a better person. Had we maintained out integrity, the fight would never have taken place.

At the heart of this verse is an awareness of our capabilities and what is appropriate for us at each stage of life. Maybe the provocation would have lured me in the past, but if I’ve grown out of that, it shouldn’t tempt me now. What I think of as myself—an unchanging eternal state of goodness—is in fact a fluctuating process. I may have been good very recently, but when I engage with a jerk on his level, I can no longer claim to be superior. I have entered his world, under his rules, and I’m not used to them. When Odin says the better man will often lose to the worse man, I believe he means that the better man has already lost himself by speaking those three words to begin with, and the fight between fools at that point is academic.

A fight of any kind is a chaotic event in which many things can upend the one who seemed more deserving of victory. Better to remember who you are and avoid the temptation of “correcting” someone when you only stand to lose.